Admittedly, I'm an angry person. Some people just piss me off with the things they say, do, or even just their very presence. The worst part bout me being angry is I don't often show, so people don't even know when I'm pissed - unless I'm in a really bad mood and I can't be bothered to conceal my emotions, or when I really dislike you so much that I don't feel a need to tolerate your nonsense and just lash out at you. (The latter has yet to happen, and I don't think things look pretty when I'm pissed, so don't try me)

Anyway, the point of this post is, I've discovered yet another thing that pisses me off : People shhh-ing me .

I take it rather offensively, friends or not, family or not. It's fucking rude! Why, you haven't got a mouth to tell me " Can you talk softer?" or "Can you keep quiet?" ? I really hate it when people shh me! Seriously, if you want me to tone down, tell me. I know I'm loud, I honestly can't help myself when I'm excited and really want to tell a story so I end up talking really loud and at high speed. I'm aware, but it's hard to change my nature and it doesn't help that I can't whisper cos I'm just loud. Seriously, I'm not that type who gets offended easily [Difference betw angry and offended : Being offended makes me angry, being angry doesn't mean I felt offended - there are many causes.] and while I feel rather embarrassed to be told to keep my volume down, it's much better than embarrassing & offending me with a rude "shhhh". Plus, I react much more positively to polite people. I immediately stfu or attempt to whisper when people tell me to speak softer, but continue talking at the same volume on purpose when people shhh me. Why should I be considerate and act politely when you aren't?

And I hate it when parents pass me around like a ball when I'm telling them my daily stuff. Fuck, don't want listen then so be it. Don't come telling me shit like "You're always listening to your iPod, can't even talk to you properly" or demand my response when you're talking to me. You don't even bother to listen to me when I'm trying to update you about my life, why should I listen when you're talking?! And, don't you dare talk about respect. Respect is a mutual thing. I've said this umpteen times. We all know you don't respect me, so what rights do you have to demand for it? Besides, respect has to be earned, not demanded. That's why I don't even respect my brother, he doesn't deserve it. You don't go around respecting people cause they're older than you. You respect them for what they have done.

Since I've already touched on the topic, might as well add in how I abhor people patronizing me. Isn't it basic respect to listen to someone who's talking to you or at least act like you're listening? I mean, I get it when this happens in a lecture, or talks - lecturers are boring, we don't mean to be rude, but we're just sometimes uninterested or listless. But hello, to me? If you're so uninterested in my issues, why be my friend? Why be my family? [Then I recall we don't get to choose our family. Annoyed.] I mean, even so, is our relationship that bad that you can't even be bothered to act like you care? Or am I really so nice that it doesn't occur to you that I'd be offended when you show that you don't care about my stuff? And if you can't be bothered to act interested, then I should just drop the act too cos truth is, I'm not really into people's business. I honestly don't care. I only seem to care cos people are my friend - I feel the need to be concerned. That's why it's so upsetting when I get these treatment .

FTS. I'm confused and upset now. I need a break from life.


Ps to those who require anger management, I think this makes some sense.