Short update

Hola.

Haven't been blogging lately and much as I'm dying for a place to rant, I don't foresee myself getting back here on a regular basis - what with prelims and A levels at the back of my neck. Been putting off my post on my 18th birthday for quite some time now, cos I never quite had the patience to align the gazillion pictures properly whenever I attempted editing the draft, and I'm super anal about the alignment, so I refuse to post it at its current unpolished stage. Nonetheless, I'm hoping to get it out before I fall deeper into a crazy mugging routine.

Life has been a mundane cycle of hopeless studying. I say hopeless because while I'm investing day and night studying, there's still this feeling like I'm not doing my best, probably because I really am not. Been having my own study-marathon of staying back in school till the library closes at 6 in the evening, followed till 9 plus 10 at night at random places with fellow comrades, cos I'm so unproductive at home. God, I hate myself when I'm at home, all I do is sleep and eat. And it doesn't help that my room's looking all war-torn with my notes lying all over the place and booklets of past year papers strewn all over, making my inner neat freak nature go all crazy and rage.

And I wonder what do people do with all these stress building up. Last Tuesday it hit me that for the remaining 90odd days leading to A levels, staying in school studying till 6 and then studying again till the wee hours is something I have to embrace and live with till A's are over. It felt so bad all I couldn't sit at my study table and face another minute of studying or attempting to study. I felt like I needed a break when all these barely started and all I could do that night was sleep, thinking that maybe when I woke up on Wednesday morning, this will all be over. It obviously didn't work.

So I start doing things that makes me happy to take my mind off things. But I swear, all the things I do that makes my mundane life feel a little better is bad for me, well except my weekly jog but even so it takes up precious studying time. I swear bathing has this therapeutic effect and it's one of my favourite things to do but bathing too much is apparently bad for health and it makes you go bald. Like, damn. And eating is easily another of my favourite things to do, food makes me happy - actually it makes me hyperventilate and I somewhat go crazy, but obviously the side effect of such short-lived happiness is fats, loads of blobs of fats residing in your body, long-term. Like, damn. Why can't there be something I like that doesn't have a negative side effect?

This seems pretty long for a short update, then again, I'm always contradicting like that.

May the force be with us!