It's week 12 of the academic term in a blink of an eye. I'm drowning in an abyss of work - school, hall, internship applications. But all is well, all is well.

Thought I'd take some time to pen down my thoughts before life gets too hectic (as though it isn't hectic enough now) and especially because I find myself just going through the motion these days. I reckon it's a good time to reflect and seek motivation or affirm my beliefs before I brave into the storm ahead.

Greatest news I've received in March was my acceptance into NUS Overseas College otherwise, NOC. Assuming all goes well with my job seeking, I'll be flying off to China for a year long's internship program. I'll talk more about this after securing my job and etc. since I believe everything's still quite uncertain now.

While I'm not going to talk about the program per say, I'm actually here to reflect about the things people have been telling me upon hearing my acceptance. The first thing people tell me after hearing that I'm going Beijing is 1) the air pollution 2) general stigma of their poor level of hygiene like how I'll be eating dog meat and cardboard and lastly, 3) WHY CHINA.

To be honest, I'm quite shocked that people genuinely question why China. I mean, I don't question people when they tell me random places that they're going for exchange, I don't pinpoint 'Oh hey, the place you're going is super racist and anti Chinese, good luck there!'. I smile politely, ask them how they're intending to map their modules, where they're travelling and etc. Isn't that social etiquette? So yes, I was quite taken aback when people rudely pointed out 'Why China'. Despite being able to joke about it face front, I'm slightly offended by these questions. Perhaps offended is too harsh, bewildered might be a better description.

To be fair, I am quite concerned about the level of pollution in Beijing. But what can I do right? As for the food, please, I've been to China. It's definitely not as horrible as what people say. I'm actually looking forward to trying out new food there - I quite fancy their duck blood in chilli oil. Afterall, working in a different country is all about new experiences and embracing their culture. Why bother if you can't step out of your comfort zone?

Lastly, the burning question people seem to have for me, 'Why China'. I've never thought about why China, and I mostly just patronize people with the fact that I'm an economics student and China's economy has always intrigued me (which is true). I can go on and on about how fascinating and remarkable China's economy and rate of development is, but you can easily google that on the Internet. That's beside the point. When people ask me why China, the first thought in my head is, I JUST WANT TO GO CHINA. I don't see how there's a need for a why, and I certainly don't have an explanation or a reason. Later on,  I realized the fact that I just want to go China is in itself, explanatory.

I don't think I'm being impulsive, I just want to experience life in China. Granted that my results can't take me on an exchange in a relatively 'better' country with beautiful sights like Europe or USA, but even if I could, I'd still want to experience China. It's just something on my bucket list, and I'm really really happy I got Beijing. I'm psyched for the challenges I'd face there, because challenges mean opportunities for self-growth. I'm genuinely excited for the things I'll be able to learn, in terms of both work and life.

Having lived in Singapore my whole life, plus under the reigns of my extremely overly-attached and loving father, I feel like I've been too sheltered my whole life. Time to expose myself to harsher elements of life.

So yes, here's my plain thoughts on going for NOC (aside for the work opportunities and entrepreneurial exposures).

Moving on, since my post on tonsillectomy, I've made the decision for an excision. I'm going for my first hospital consultation this Thursday and frankly, dreading it. I hate hospitals and procedures. But in life you have to do what you have to do. And if something is detrimental to you, then it's best to remove it. Talking about both my tonsils and uh, people in my life.

Okay, much reflection done here. Time to get back to work.

P.S. Was telling my hall friends that I feel like I'm living in 3 different yet overlapping realms - school, hall and internship processes. All 3 require so much energy from me and it's so hard to juggle. But again, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I'll be much freer after week 12 because hall commitments will come to a gradual pause after this week. I can do this #leggo