Do not stand at my grave and weep

Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep I am not there.
I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.



~

" Everyone knows they're going to die," he said again, " but nobody believes it. If we did, we would do things differently. "   - Tuesdays with Morrie

The past few weeks has brought me closer to death than I've ever been and has showed me the capriciousness of life. At some point , somebody asked what have I learnt from these. I did not respond - the cost of lives' too pricey a lesson for me to learn. And in truth I'm still in denial - I've never been good with  death, I can't even imagine having a pet and losing it, much less the demise of a fellow homosapien , no matter how close or distant the ties. And it feels weird that the adults have pretty much reverted to normal while I'm still here in my state of confusion - perhaps it's true that death's more palpable when you reach adulthood. And I'm not even sure why I'm even broaching this subject considering how morbid death is, and how people typically shun it in conversations. But I guess I just had to get this off my chest.

Anywhoo, I guess these past weeks has set me thinking about life ( the irony ) , amidst the chaos and confusion and a whole lot of complex feelings that it also brought. Recently the cliché 'you only live once, live it good' idea's really biting into my head, making me feel much of a pessimist and also more adamant on living life the way I want - albeit I still haven't given it a serious thought , or any thoughts even.

PS. Quick life update - just texted my manager to quit SB a couple of hours ago and also typed out my resignation letter. Damn it feels good to be young and free, doing things I like without a care. I know friends might be wondering why i'm quitting on a whim especially cos i've practically raved about how good and how much i love working at SB on twitter and stuff (or at least at the initial stage) I'll leave the detailed explaining to my next post.

PPS. I'm getting really good at ending posts abruptly. This could be my writing style amongst all the other weird writing habits I have.