Before you scroll on, I'd like to say I'm genuinely contented with my grades - thence the title, and I really couldn't ask for more. I'm thankful that with my laidback behaviour I didn't fail the A levels, and I even made it to a local university . Turns out life isn't as bleak as I predicted - though I'm still feeling nervous about my choice.
If you are a stranger, you're probably thinking 'WTF, you're from VJ and this is what you got?' And I suppose getting ABCC/C is pretty disappointing for someone coming from VJC, but guess what, I'm not at all ashamed of my grades. I'm aware of the stereotype and label people put on JC students, particularly so if you come from a good JC, but heck, I've never been a hardworking student throughout my 2 years of JC education. Even towards A levels, I didn't feel like I was putting in as much effort as I ought to be. In fact I spent most of my study time whining & cursing the education system, and singing songs to pass time. Thinking back, the only time I'm genuinely putting in hard work's probably during the wee hours when I start having random panic attacks, thinking how I'm gonna wind up jobless after all these years of studying and education. And in all honesty, I was really lost in JC. I didn't get 70% of the things I'm studying.
So with all these elements bundled up, I honestly feel no reason to be upset with not getting the prestigious and expected 3As , or disappointed with myself because 1) I didn't work hard enough to be upset with myself, I actually didn't expect much of myself for A levels, I was just hoping to make it to a local university and please not Nursing cos I'm not at all interested in it. I didn't even dare to open my result slip in hall, I only managed to muster enough courage on the bus ride home. 2) I feel no reason to be disappointed JUST because I didn't meet the society's expectations. I've never cared much for how strangers looked upon me. If anything, the only regret I have is getting a C for Econs because that's the only subject I took up tuition for and getting a C makes me feel like I've wasted my parent's hard earned money. But then again, I was averaging on a E & S throughout J1 , so achieving D for prelims and C for A's still considered improvement. But yea, I was expecting myself to do a tad better for Econs. Okay, and I'm probably having issues with getting a C for H1 Chem because admittedly, it felt like an easy paper and I was confident of a B if not an A. Not to mention, it was the only subject I managed to do 5 years worth of past year papers. C was disappointing considering the effort I put in. 3) But, heck! Look at that table and compare between the two. Tell me how am I supposed to feel disappointed looking at my overall grades?! My Math & Bio grades are freaking miraculous. I'm really thanking my lucky stars.
More importantly, I'm fucking grateful that with my grades NUS & NTU offered me my first choice - FASS & Economics respectively. I've made up my mind on NUS FASS (Econs) , but I'm fearing the bidding of modules and competition. What if I wind up majoring in a course I dislike because I'm not good enough to be able to choose what I want? What if after the exposure modules I realise I'm not cut out for Econs? A million questions running through my head, but for now, I'm really grateful and thankful - I have a confirmed spot in 2 universities!
Also, last month I was called up for interview & English test for SMU Business. I haven't heard from them since , which is annoying because I'm intrigued to see if I'm accepted, considering it's the only course people actually judged me as a person. I'm wondering what image I gave. Since it has been a month and many around me have already been accepted, I'm thinking they're probably rejecting me and just as well, since I've already made up my mind. I really hate being in dilemmas!! I was panicking throughout dinner the evening I received my NTU package out of the blue, and was really torn between NUS and the latter.
PS. This isn't the end to the post, I'll be back to complete it soon! Meanwhile, good luck to all of yáll out there deciding between schools and waiting for your admission letters! :)
(UPDATE) 29/5 - Just received email from SMU this morning stating that I've been acccepted for Bachelor of Business Management programme. Glad to know I made it through the interview but none the less, my mind's set on NUS! Mid way through applications and I realized I missed all the sign up dates for camps and even hall camps. All these administrative stuff's such a pain!
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